F**K, NOW THERE ARE TWO OF YOU BOOK
It actually turns out that two feels like a million more kids than when you just had one. This is a funny bed-time story for parents, from the author famous for giving voice to the many thoughts that go through a parent's mind: Go The F**k To Sleep and You Have To F**king Eat.
Adam Manbach now brings you F**k There Are Two Of You which tackles a new addition to the family and all the fears and frustrations that come to mind when you come to realise that two really is double the trouble.
The New York Times best selling author ushered in a new era of radical honesty in humour books for parents. Parents new, old or expentant will appreciate the loving monologue about the new addition to the family, addressed to the big sibling and featuring the author's trademark profane truth-telling. Gorgeously illustrated and full of unspoken sentiments, channelled directly from the brains of parents worldwide.
As you probably know by now, you probably shouldn't read it to a child.
About Adam Banbach
Adam Mansbach is an award-winning novelist, humorist and screenwriter whose works include the novels Rage is Back, Angry Black White Boy and The End of the Jews, the screenplay for the Netflix Original Barry, and, most recently – with Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel – A Field Guide to the Jewish People. He actually has three children, but two of them are under two years old, "Please send help."
About Loft Lifestyle Store
Based on the beautiful Mornington Peninsula, we are family business here to serve you, our much-loved community. We showcase uniquely curated products, aim to be more sustainably minded & leave a lighter footprint on our precious Earth.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO RECEIVE MY ORDER?
Please be aware, Australia Post are currently experiencing shipping delays during this time. For more information view our Shipping page.
HOLIDAY PERIOD UPDATES
Loft reserves the right to not be held responsible for any delays in your delivery due to our shipping carriers.
GENERAL SHIPPING UPDATES
Orders placed will generally be processed the following business day. Once your order is dispatched, you will receive a tracking number to trace your delivery. Due to Australia Post delays, we cannot estimate how long it will take for your order to arrive - and would rather not estimate. During busy sale or launch periods, there may be slight shipping delays. We will notify you of any delays as we get notified ourselves, when upon dropping your item/s at Australia Post.
HOW CAN I TRACK MY ITEM?
Once your order is dispatched, you will receive shipping confirmation, plus a tracking number for your order. Visit the Australia Post website to track your order here: https://auspost.com.au/mypost/track/
DO YOU OFFER RETURNS?
We hope you love your Loft purchase, however if you change your mind we offer 14 Day returns. You can find our full Returns Policy and instructions on our Terms & Conditions page.
HOW CAN I USE MY 10% SIGN UP PROMO CODE?
After adding all items to your cart, proceed to the checkout. You will then have the option to add your promo code to your order. Please be aware that only one promo code can be used per order. If you are having trouble applying your promo code, please contact our customer service at firstname.lastname@example.org
HOW CAN I CONTACT CUSTOMER SERVICE?
If you have any questions or would like to get in touch, you can contact our customer service, we will respond as soon as possible, within business hours. Email us at email@example.com or call us on (03) 5987 0519.
WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?
Loft Lifestyle Store is located on the beautiful Mornington Peninsula in Victoria, Australia. You can find our store in the suburb of Dromana, literally footsteps to the beach. We are a family business focused on sustainable, ethical and predominantly Australian labels for women, children and men.
CAN I AMEND OR CANCEL MY ORDER ONCE IT IS PLACED?
Once you've completed your order, if you have any changes, we can facilitate this at any time before you receive your fulfilment email. If your order is click and collect you are able to cancel at any time prior to collection, just contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
HOW MUCH DOES SHIPPING COST?
Loft shipping rates are based on our postal service of choice, Australia Post. We utilise the Australia Post Parcel Post service. On occasion, your goods may be shipped via our courier service, for large items only.
Our shipping rates start at $9.20 for small packages, $12.20 for standard packages, $15.95 for medium packages, $19.70 for large packages and $25.50 for heavy goods. The beach carts and beach umbrellas are our largest parcels and have a extra shipping of $30.00. You can easily calculate shipping in your cart. For more information view our Shipping page.
We do not offer express shipping as standard, please contact us via email at email@example.com at the conclusion of our order, or reply to your order confirmation email to upgrade to Express Shipping. We can quote you on a specific cost to upgrade your order based on your address.
DO YOU DELIVER OVERSEAS?
At this point in time, we do not deliver outside of Australia.
MY ORDER WAS CONFIRMED BUT I HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED THAT AN ITEM IS OUT OF STOCK. WHY IS THIS?
On the rare occasions an item may be damaged or missing and we will only find out when we go to pack your order. Although this does not happen often, we will contact you to arrange a refund or replacement item in these instances.
CAN I GET MY PURCHASE GIFT WRAPPED?
Yes. We offer a complimentary gift wrapping service for purchases over $50. For purchases under $50 we charge $4.95 per purchase.
You can select to have your purchases wrapped individually or as a bundled item in once package. Simply contact us via return email in reply to your order confirmation, and advise that you would like your order gift wrapped.
I HAVE PLACED AN ORDER FOR SOMEONE AS A GIFT, WILL THEY RECEIVE PROOF OF PURCHASE?
Yes, unless advised, all online orders will include a proof of purchase, making refund, exchange and warranty of the item easy for the recipient. Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org should you wish to advise us not to include this in the delivery.
I SELECTED CLICK AND COLLECT AND DID NOT MEAN TODo not stress. It is easy to organise alternative postage options, please email us at email@example.com or call us on (03) 5987 0519 and let us know!
Due to government restrictions with COVID-19, we may be put under rules or regulations to protect the safety and well being of our family and much-loved Loft community. As a result, we may be closed from time to time and we appreciate your understanding and patience during this testing time.
We will still be able to ship online orders out within our usual delivery times, however should there be any changes with this, we will get in touch with you as soon as possible to alert you to any delays with your order. The only foreseeable change would be if government restricts us from travel to the post office to deliver your parcels. Loft reserves the right to not be held responsible for any delays in your delivery due to our shipping carriers.
The following outlines our shipping policies at Loft:
SHIPPING ONLY WITHIN AUSTRALIA
- Deliveries are sent during normal business hours, generally the next business day between Monday and Friday
- Purchases made on weekends and public holidays will be processed on the next business day, usually Monday
- We will endeavour to process all orders within the aforementioned time frames, however there may be delays during busy sale periods or situations outside of our control, such as COVID-19
- The overall dispatch time will be between 2-7 working days from when the payment has been made. Please note - this is not delivery time
- Delivery times may vary and are outside of our control. We use Australia Post and Sendle, both of which provide tracking numbers which we will supply to you for traceability of your goods
- We will arrange for delivery of your goods to your specified delivery address. Should you require a change to the address, it may be actioned if contact is made within the hour. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
- If delivery is not successful, the customer will be responsible to collect the parcel from the relevant postal service and will be responsible for any extra delivery charges, should they arise
- Please note, we will be unable to cancel orders, change shipping methods or addresses, or change product during busy sale periods
DOMESTIC SHIPPING RATES
- Small parcel shipping $12.20
- Medium parcel shipping $15.95
- Large parcel shipping $19.70
- Heavy parcel shipping $25.50
We stand by our decision to charge shipping at the above rates. We will never overcharge you and will refund any difference upon taking your parcel to the post office. The refund will be processed via Shopify, Afterpay or Paypal dependent on how you paid for your order.
FREE CLICK + COLLECT AND LOCAL DELIVERY
- If you are a local to the Mornington Peninsula, you can arrange to collect your order, simply select 'Collect from Store - Dromana' at checkout under Shipping Methods, and you will be electing to pick up your purchase in-store with contract free collection.
- If you are a Dromana, Rosebud or Rye local, we will deliver for free. Please select 'Collect from Store - Dromana' at checkout under Shipping Methods, and email us a copy of your order confirmation to email@example.com together with your delivery address
- If you are outside of these suburbs, but still a Mornington Peninsula local, you may also contact us to enquire about free delivery. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss and we will contact you regarding delivery